How I Met My Husband

November 23, 2018 [Sarina Jain]

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Be Proactive To Find Your Prince

If I wasn't proactive and serious about meeting the one, I wouldn't have met my husband. My 3-year anniversary is tomorrow (Nov 27)! I want to celebrate by sharing my story of how I met him and to also inspire you to find your life partner.

As I've mentioned in a previous post, getting married wasn't my only priority in life. My first goal was always to build my business, Masala Bhangra. It's my baby!

With that said, I also wanted to meet someone wonderful, fall in love and start a family with the right person. And that wasn't going to happen if I sat on my couch every night. Mr. Right wasn't going to walk into my living room. Well, actually, in my case he did (keep reading)!

I still had to do the work to put myself out there because I didn't know how I was going to meet my husband. I just knew that it was time to meet him. So, I made it a priority, manifested the energy to date and created a weekly schedule. Sounds crazy right?!

My first step was to decide that I wanted this and the second step was to take action. My third step was to be completely honest and let my dates know what I was looking for (marriage!) and if that scared them off, I had to be OK with that and understand that it wasn't meant to be. I wasn’t looking for a time pass type relationship. I was looking for my life partner.

Here's my secret formula for meeting the one. Take my advice as you see fit as this is totally my personal experience and my opinion. Just know that nothing is impossible. You just have to believe and take action. 

Commit To Three Months Of Dating 

I decided to go on a date every Wednesday night for three months. Here’s the secret. You have to actually do it! So I asked everyone I knew if they could set me up with someone they knew. I even went out of my comfort zone and asked my students, people I just met, etc. This was my main source for having a date every Wednesday night. I tried online dating for a short time but I didn’t find it as effective as blind dates. But with both, online dating and blind dates, you have to weed out the ones that are not serious enough to find the good ones. You will be surprised by how much you learn about yourself with this exercise.

Online dating can be a great resource. However, it’s so easy to say you’re dating and feel like you’re being proactive when all you’re doing is chilling on your couch swiping left or right. The thing is that you have to meet in person and actually date. At some point, you have to move it from online to offline and meet in person.

And you have to get uncomfortable. It’s not always going to be easy. Sometimes you’d rather stay home than meet people in person. For me, I had to remind myself why I wanted this and go out even when I didn’t feel like it.

Be Upfront With Your Dates 

I didn’t have time to play games. Finding someone I could build a solid relationship with that would eventually lead to marriage was my goal. The trick was to tell my dates in a gentle, loving way that I wanted to get married. I also didn’t sugar coat it. I didn’t say that I may want to get married. I didn’t say that I wasn’t sure. I directly stated my desires and if my dates weren’t cool with it, didn’t want to get married or wanted something else, that was fine. I respected their decision and it helped me move on to the next date. Again, this is my opinion. I was very serious about finding my life partner.

Here’s the thing: There are men who want to get married out there and not all of them are scared to discuss the topic of marriage. Don’t be scared to state exactly what you’re looking for, you just might get it.

Ask Yourself Why You Want This 

You’ll always have excuses. For me, I could’ve easily said that I was too busy with work to date, but I needed to try something different. I wanted to fall in love because I deserve to. I didn’t do it because someone said I should or because of my age. I did it because it was something I truly wanted.

So before you even start dating, ask yourself, why? Ask yourself if you really want to fall in love and get married. Ask yourself what you’re willing to do and what that would look like. Commit to 3-4 months of dating (shoot for once a week). If something happens within that timeframe, that’s fantastic. But if something doesn’t happen, don’t give up. Take a short break and do it again. Remember to always believe and stay strong. You deserve to be happy and be in love. If you want marriage, it’s up to you do make it happen.

If what you’re currently doing is not working, then it’s time to switch it up. If you’re on dating apps and not getting dates, maybe it’s time to ask around to be set up on blind dates. Maybe you need to go out to new events and talk to people face-to-face. Maybe you need a new plan to find your partner. No point in doing the same thing over and over again. It’s like anything in life.

How I Met My Husband

I met my husband in New York City at my house.

It was in October 2014. My Mom was fasting for 10 days, which is a part of our Jain culture. She was at the temple every day where my husband, a devout Jain man, also spent almost every day at the temple during this time.

On the 11th day, my mom broke her fast. We had a big celebration at the temple. My husband wasn’t able to attend the celebration, so he came by the house a few weeks later to congratulate her. The funny thing is my mom didn’t know anything about him either. He just heard about her fast at the temple and wanted to stop by.

God has a funny way of sending you what you want at the right time. He was supposed to come for 30 minutes to meet my mom but ended up staying much longer. We started out as friends and it turned into something more romantic.

I honestly believe it was because I put the intention out there that I wanted to get married and took inspired action, my desire showed up. It’s also important to stay positive during this committed action. Sometimes when we don’t get what we want right away, we feel discouraged. But it will happen. Just keep going. It’s too easy to give up. So don't!

And, remember, you deserve to be happy! I wish you all the very best. Go find your partner!

If you try this out, please tell me how it works out for you. Would love to hear your thoughts in the comments!

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Thank you for sharing your story, it has inspired me into really put out there what I want.. sometimes i believe I want to meet someone and get married , but when I get ask out on date I put so many excuses not to go.. I’m really confused Love your story..

HI Anabel, The first thing is first....get clear if you want to be married and have kids. Once you are clear on what you want, then it will be easier to go on a date with your intention in mind. If you are not clear, then your entire being will be unstable to anyone you meet.

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